A step forward
So at least I know I still have my BFF but communication is very limited! I smiled and was my self for the first time in a while last night! The gym makes me feel better! I’m gonna start kick boxing that will make me feel great! I haven’t been feeling like myself. I just don’t know who I am anymore. Most days I wanna curl up in a ball and do nothing! I’m enrolling into school tomorrow hopefully that makes me feel better…. Why do things work out the way they do I know everything happens for a reason but damn haha! The way they happen just sucks!
This is the best day of your life!!
So today I find out nothing is wrong with me! We are going to start having a baby!! I am so excited!! I have never felt so in love with someone before! I am happy as I have ever been in my whole life! I am just walking on cloud nine!!! 2012 is our year and we are excited!!
It may not happen again..
I have problems…. I have your normal every day problems… But I have female problems…. My grandmother, aunt, and my mother had the same problems! I need to make an appt but I’m scared of the outcome.. I may never be able to have any more kids! I miscarried already …. Could this problem be taking over my body and wrecking my emotions? I don’t know what I’d be able to do if I can’t have another child! Will I lose my husband? That is what I’m scared of.. I want to give him what he wants! If I can’t what will happen! I’m trying to think positive but he wants to start trying for another baby and I want one too and I want to be positive about this… Emotions are high! Oh boy!! Here we go another roller coaster ride!
Not the same
Why is it that I just feel so sad… All the time…. Like why don’t we say much to each other anymore… No communication! It is kinda depressing… Last few days we rarely said anything to each other … Idk what to do anymore…..
Not right
Something just doesn’t seem right. He went out with his friends last night and was acting weird like twitching and just kept saying “I love you”. Although I love him too! Idk what’s going to happen. Like idk I feel like everything is up in the air. We have mor good days than bad but in the back on my head I think are we even going to make it? Or are we trying way too hard when we shouldn’t be trying hard we should be letting things run its course but still work? I just don’t know ! I need reassurance and I don’t have that! Maybe I’m depressed because of what’s going on with me or if I’m just depressed in general! Wish I had someone I could sit down with and talk to! I miss my BFF who is on r&r and having a great time in Europe he tells me how it is def ! Oh well another day just stronger feelings.
